2012, Here We Go!

Sa 2012, kailangang magawa ko ang mga ito:

• Maging Cosmo Bachelor. Kaya nga recently, nagpa-member na ako sa kilalang gym dahil target ko talagang lumabas sa isang glossy magazine. At syempre, dahil medyo may kamahalan ang membership fee, talagang kailangang sulitin ko ang pag-workout at makuha ang results na gusto ko. Kung hindi naman ako uubra sa Cosmo Magazine, pwede naman ako sa Chika-chika Magazine o kaya sa Panorama na lang.
• Lumabas sa TV. Hindi lang yung once sa isang dokyu na ipinapalabas tuwing hatinggabi. Yung tipong pagsasawaan na ang mukha ko dahil lagi na lang ako nakikita. Yung level na gusto na nilang ibato ang TV sa mukha ng nakakairitang nagvi-videokeng kapitbahay dahil sawang-sawa nila sa mukha ko.
• Matutong mag-drive ng kotse. Pwedeng unahin yung pagkatuto ng pag-bike, pero naka-reserve yun sa magiging soulmate ko. Kaya driving lessons na lang muna unahin ko. Parang 3 years ko nang pinapangarap ang mag-drive ng sasakyan, siguro dapat sa 2012 dapat lang na isakatuparan ko na ito. Good luck nga lang sa imamaneho kong sasakyan kasi mga bus at truck ang magwe-welcome sa akin sa SLEX.
• Magkaroon ng sariling apartment/condo unit. Dapat yatang malaman ko na rin ang buhay na malayo sa magulang. Although, mas matipid talaga ang buhay kasama sila, hindi naman pwedeng habambuhay akong nakasandal lang sa kanila lalo’t malapit na rin akong maging 30 years old–FYI, 29 pa lang ako next year. Saka paano na lang kung gusto kong jumerjer sa bahay, nakakahiya namang masaksihan nila ang mga kaganapan lalo’t gusto ko ring maganap ang ganitong kababalaghan sa kusina.
• Syota! Mukhang hindi ireregalo sa akin ito ni Santa Claus bago sumapit ang Three Kings, siguro dapat isama ko na rin ito sa goals ko sa 2012. Kaso simula yata na nagkaroon ako ng isip heto na talaga goal ko. Huwag ko kayang ilista na lang ito para mangyari na.

Wish me luck! Manigong bagong taon sa inyong lahat!

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Devirginated

HINDI NA AKO VIRGIN…

sa paglipad ng eroplano. Nitong kamakailan kasi, kinailangan akong papuntahin ng opisina sa Surigao. Akala ko nga dahil pinagsasawaan na nila ang mukha ko dito sa office o ipinapatapon na ako doon. Hindi naman pala. For necessary business naman pala. At talaga namang sa surfing capital ng bansa pa ako mapupunta, sa Siargao!

Dahil first time kong sumakay ng eroplano, a week before the flight pa lang, hindi na ako maaligaga sa pagtatanong ng kung ano bang dapat kong gawin sa pagsakay ng eroplano at mga dapat gawin sa airport. Kaya pasalamat ako sa mga kaibigan ko—kahit sina-suggest nilang manood ako ng Air Crash Investigation before the flight—dahil matiwasay naman akong dumaan sa mga metal detectors at ang mga bag ko sa x-ray machine. Fail nga lang ang Cebu Pacific (lagi naman yata) kasi instead na Surigao City kami bababa, sa Butuan City kami ni-reroute. Kaya naman kailangan pa naming mag-rent ng van para makarating ng Surigao na 2 hours din ang byahe. Pero para sa akin, ok na rin kasi first time ko lang naman makalayo ng Luzon at naka-road trip pa. Still, hassle pa rin talaga ang ginawa ng airline lalo’t di naman nila sinagot ang byahe from Butuan to Surigao City.

Swak na swak naman ang pinanood naming movie sa bangka from Surigao City to Siargao, Piranha 3D lang naman. Tapos puro island pa ang mga pupuntahan namin di ba? Ang saya.

Fast forward to Siargao…

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Pimp Daddy and The Theater Virgin

For those who hadn’t seen our recital, I was the Pimp Daddy. Though quick, it was gratifying. This came out on our playbill. Let me also have this opportunity to thank my blogger friends who watched our recital; Winston, Faith, Fritz, Marcelle and Eloisa (yeah, plurk is a microblog). I am very thankful to see you there.

Pimp Daddy: Are you feeling kinky? I have these pleasurable people that can satisfy your need today?

Theater Virgin: Uhm no. Not in the mood now. I’m busy practicing my lines… And why are you selling flesh on a Saturday noon by the way?

Pimp Daddy: It’s a tough weekend y’know? Didn’t reach my quota last night. Pay day is still next week and I don’t have enough commission to buy signature clothes.

Theater Virgin: Signature clothes?! Really? I thought you just borrowed clothes from Kuya Germs’s closet.

Pimp Daddy: You be careful with your mouth kid. Or I’ll slap you with my Gucci gloves… You said “practicing lines”. Are you an actor or something?

Theater Virgin: Not really. I’m currently taking an acting workshop at Repertory Philippines.

Pimp Daddy: So you aspire to be one. You know, in my business, I can make you a star.

Theater Virgin: No thanks, dude. I don’t want to be in THAT business. Aside from that, I don’t give a damn at stardom. After seeing my co-actors, I’m still too far to be really called an “actor”.

Pimp Daddy: That’s why my offer. I can make you there faster. You’re quite good-looking too. By the way, do you have a long di…

Theater Virgin: WOAH! Let’s stop there.

Pimp Daddy: How long… How long have you been doing this?

Theater Virgin: It’s my first time. Never tried it during college nor highschool.

Pimp Daddy: Have you at least performed on stage?

Theater Virgin: The only performance I’ve done is singing and dancing naked in front of the bathroom mirror, The last time I was on stage was when I got my diploma.

Pimp Daddy: You really should be IN my business.

Theater Virgin: NO!

Pimp Daddy: Wow! You are a virgin. I mean, a theater virgin. Are you into theater and musicals?

Theater Virgin: Not much. I’ve only seen a few stage plays in my life. I do watch movie musicals, and that’s just it.

Pimp Daddy: So why theater?

Theater Virgin: I dunno exactly why. I just feel like doing it. I always wanted to try this.

Pimp Daddy: How was it? Are you enjoying it… like sex?

Theater Virgin: If that’s how you put it, YES! I enjoy it a lot. In this workshop, I feel freedom. I feel happy whenever I’m in the rehearsal studio. The only moment I feel tired is when I’m at work and when I’m travelling home to Laguna every single day. This experience is really fulfilling, it’s worth the time after all the traffic in EDSA and the after-work stench at MRT. If I won’t be in the theater, I would love to do this workshop over and over again for me to learn and become a real actor someday. And…

Pimp Daddy: OKAY! I get it.

Theater Virgin: Hey! Don’t be rude, I’m still not finished with my answer.

Pimp Daddy: Yes you are! What have you learned so far?

Theater Virgin: A lot. Theater ain’t really easy. If one’s really passionate about it he has to learn many things and make his imagination go wild. I’ve also been taught here on how to become an action star. Few nights ago, we were choreographing the fight scene. We’ve got bumps and bruises. I don’t know if it’s the masochistic in me but I love it. I do hope they can teach us how to split bullets using a jungle bolo like how Lito Lapid did it in his movie.

Pimp Daddy: How are your classmates?

Theater Virgin: They are really good and very talented. There’s no need to go to a concert, club or a gig – which I don’t regularly do either – whenever I’m at the class I am already surrounded by talented people. But I do had a hard time adjusting at first because they were all talking in english. I’m not saying that I’m not capable speaking in english because I do. It’s just that, it was still in high school when I was required to speak english fluently, which was aeons ago. Work doesn’t require me that either. I realize I am now more fluent in gay lingo, l337speak and lolspeak. It surprises me when foreign classmates speak in Filipino.

Pimp Daddy: And we are talking in english now because…

Theater Virgin: This will be in the playbill and it has to be in english.

Pimp Daddy: Back to your classmates, how are they? I mean, are they good-looking? Can you recommend them to get into my business? I need more “talents” y’know?

Theater Virgin: They don’t just look great, they are awesome. But I won’t exploit them to get into your business. Unless of course, we have a good deal.

Pimp Daddy: Now we’re talking business.

Theater Virgin: I’m just kidding.

Pimp Daddy: How are your teachers? Are they terrifying?

Theater Virgin: Meynard? He is a great teacher. Terrifying is not the right word. It’s more of the sense of having a teacher-student relationship where the student will do his best to please his master and give him good grades. That feeling pushes oneself to his limits and be better than what he used to be. A teacher who have that aura only proves that he is a master of his craft which motivates me to do my best even I’m completely newbie to this experience.

Teacher Jay is whom students can relate. He is the one who will get to you and help you hit the right notes of the song or tell you good advices on what to do next. He pacifies the feeling of fear of a students to their master and makes you feel “We’ve also been there.”

Pimp Daddy: So can you ask them if they can recommend their students to my business? Former students will also do.

Theater Virgin: Hey! I don’t want to be fed to alligators.

Pimp Daddy: I can give’em a good deal.

Theater Virgin: Oh c’mon!

Pimp Daddy: Are you one of the leads on your recital? You seem serious with your lines.

Theater Virgin: No. I have different roles in our recital but I will have a short shining moment in our play and I want it to be monumental. I don’t think I’m ready to have a lead role yet. I think I will die and have seizure on stage if I’ll have a lead role now.

Pimp Daddy: So, what’s your role in the recital?

Theater Virgin: I will be a pimp daddy. I guess I am the only one who have guts to wear ridiculous outfits on stage.

Pimp Daddy: Being a pimp daddy is not that ridiculous, y’know? Look at me.

Theater Virgin: You are ridiculous.

Pimp Daddy: I AM NOT. Then I guess you’re glad that I came to you. Do you want to ask me for any advices?

Theater Virgin: I don’t have to. I’m just talking to myself in the mirror.

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